I HAVE BE WRAPPING MY MIND AROUND MY CUSHING'S DIAGNOSIS, THE SYMPTOMS, AND HOW THEY HAVE CHANGED ME INTERNALLY AND EXTERNALLY OVERTIME. I LITERALLY MUST WATCH OR FEEL MY BODY SYSTEMS BE DESTROYED OR GO HAYWIRE IN ORDER TO GET BETTER. I COULD HAVE DONE NOTHING TO PREVENT IT, AND IT EXPLAINS A LOT ABOUT ME PHYSICALLY GROWING UP AND MY HEALTH THAT I ALWAYS THOUGHT WAS OFF. I HAVE LOST THINGS FOR NOW THAT HAVE MADE ME INDEPENDENT JUST TO KEEP MYSELF SAFE DURING THE TREATMENT PROCESS.

NOW THAT I HAVE A DIAGNOSIS, I NEED TO FIND CAUSATION. THESE PROCESSES INCLUDE HORMONAL SCREENINGS AND INJECTIONS, SCANNING FOR PITUITARY TUMORS, AND HORMONAL BLOOD SAMPLING MOST LIKELY ANALYZED AT MAYO CLINIC OR UCLA PITUITARY PROGRAM. MY TREAMENTS WILL OPTIONS ARE MOSTLY SURGERY, RADIATION, AND MEDICINE COMBINATIONS. MY CONDITION IS RARE WITH FEWER THAN 200,000 CASE A YEAR.

I NEED THIS EXPERIENCE TO HAVE MEANING AND PURPOSE. THIS ILLNESS CAN LAST YEARS AFTER TREATMENT OR BE LIFELONG. I GUESS THIS IS WHY GOD GAVE THIS TO ME. I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN ON TOP OF MY HEALTH. I HAVE SO MANY NOTES IN MY MEDICAL RECORD THAT WILL HELP ME FIGHT THIS, AND I HAVE THE STRENGTH TO FIGHT THROUGH ANYTHING. I AM NERD AND WAS SUSPICIOUS OF THIS CONDITION READING ABOUT IT AS I GREW UP. I ALWAYS WANTED TO DO RESEARCH. I DO NOT THINK IT’S A COINCIDENCE THAT I HAPPEN TO BE TREATED BY DOCTORS THAT ARE THE FEW NEURO-ENDOCRINE SPECIALISTS THAT THINK ZEBRAS WITH HUNDREDS OF MILES OF HERE.THEY MADE ME A PART OF THE CONVERSATION ABOUT MY HEALTH.

I AM GOING TO MAKE PURPOSE OUT OF WHAT THE DEVIL IS SO DETERMINED TO MAKE MY PAIN. I CHOOSE TO BE AN ACTIVE PARTICIPANT IN ALL GOD IS GIVING ME TO MAKE ME, BREAK ME, TEACH, AND RESTORE. MY FIRST STEP IT TO SHAVE OFF MY ALREADY DESTROYED HAIR. IT GETS BRITTLE EVERY SINGLE DAY AND CLUMPS COME OUT MORE AND MORE. THE DISORDER INDUCED ALOPECIA HAS SHOWN ITSELF AGAIN. I HAVE DECIDED TO SHAVE MY HEAD BEFORE THIS PROCESS MAKES THE DECISION FOR ME, AND I AM TOO CUTE TO BE BULLIED BY SOME DISORDER. I WANT IT TO BE A CHOICE ON MY TERMS. PLUS, LOYOLA IS WAITING FOR ME IN AUGUST. I NEED TO SURRENDER SO TRUE RESTORATION CAN HAPPEN. I CHOOSE TO SEEK THE DIVINE NUGGETS IN ALL OF THIS.
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