Dear everyone, I invite you all to join me in this adventure to do a little good. Plus you get to see me bald. There is an instant value-added to your donation right there. My reasoning is simple: I don't have much to contribute to this cause, but I do have hair. This hair of mine is lazy. It doesn't do anything for anyone. It has no goals, no desire to change the world. Quite frankly, I don't like its attitude very much. I find it insolent and indolent; sullen and slothful. It has a very me-first attitude and isn't much of a team player. When we play basketball, my hair just hogs the ball. Everyone hates it. My wife nearly had it at checkmate the other night, and it just threw the whole chess set across the room. Quite the tantrum. But more importantly, it's just been growing there, up on my head, squandering a lot of opportunity, and I feel like that's just wasteful. Also a little unctuous. But, I'm its boss, and I don't have to tolerate that kind of mindset or behavior. So, after several warnings and firm disciplinary action, I'm firing my hair, and assigning it to an indefinite amount of community service. I hope you'll contribute, thanks. Nate