Hey, everyone! Over this last Christmas break an inkling of a thought entered my head: how would it be if I cut off all my hair? I remembered back over the years, and it seemed like every time I announced that the time had come to cut it, I'd hear something along the lines of "but it's so beautiful!" and "but what will the guys think?" I felt pressured to keep it long. I was born with a full head of hair, and since then I've never cut it any shorter than what would brush my shoulders. I have pretty much always grown it until the headaches from the weight got too numerous, and then cut it to shoulder length every four years or so. I mulled over the thought of shaving it off, and I was nervous. I wondered how, especially as a woman, I would be perceived differently for not having hair, and I wondered what would change about my own view of myself too.
After the break, I started poking around, telling people I was thinking of shaving it off. Once I explained myself, explained that I felt trapped by my hair in a gendered sort of way and wanted to experience baldness, very few people looked horrified, which I took to be a good thing. However, nearly all of them started talking about all the cool wigs I could wear. This I took as a defeat. I wanted to experience a lack of hair, not cut it all off and then replace it. It seemed that I was still trapped by my hair.
Kids with cancer don't have the option to be trapped by their hair; treatment will often involve losing theirs. It is important to me that it is always a choice to have or not have hair, to always be and look however I want to be and look without being pressured. Losing that autonomy to pressure is depressing, but at least in my case I have a choice. Cancer is not a choice, it is a force. Please help me to support research that will one day give everyone a choice, no matter what treatments they need, to be in control of their lives. Every little bit of control, even just whether to have hair, is hugely important to feelings of dignity and self-worth. And, we're all worth it.
Thank you!
