I'm tapped out! We're almost 1 year post-diagnosis. Sometimes it feels like a medical apocalypse has devastated our family. We've survived but we're not the same. That's what a childhood cancer diagnosis does to a family. My son in treatment is not the same person he was a year ago. His brothers do not experience a normal family life. For the past year, we've been single-parenting our kids. One parent deals with the medical fallout of appointments, medicine, therapy, and managing side- effects while the other deals with the 3 "normal" kids who are throwing fits because of schedule disruptions, lack of parental attention, you name it.
And all the while, death looms over us. Even if we don't want to think about it in regard to our own child, we hear about other children in our community who have lost the fight, other families who have been devastated and will never return to normal. We keep our hope alive that one day WE WILL RETURN TO NORMAL. We must. Hope keeps us going. For some, that's no longer a possibility.
Depressing isn't it? I wish I could go back to live in ignorant bliss, but I can't, not knowing what I do. If you've read this far, you are probably wondering if I'm as crazy as I sound. Yes, I am crazy, angry, sad and just plain determined that things are going to get better. We're going to do whatever it takes (well, OK, I draw the line at getting permanently tattooed), to fight childhood cancer and raise money to find cures AND BETTER CURES. I'm tired of hearing about friends whose kids have messed up guts, heart problems, bone damage, brain damage or are just plain DEAD. It just isn't right. These are kids and they should be out there living and learning to solve the world's problems.
So help me do something about it. Yeah, you could probably help pay for my therapy and then you wouldn't have to witness me rant. I invite you to take a little peek inside my world, cry a few tears, get a little angry, and do something better with your spare change by helping to fund pediatric cancer research!
Gloria, Momma Bear
