It began with a simple want to grow out my locks after having had short hair for many years, then transitioned to a silent thought/wanting...to free myself from being a slave to the hair color of my past. So I decided to let go of my attachment to a dye bottle. Seemed silly to me it was even an issue. I mean, I let go of my daughter Jonnae on June 9, 2008 when her 3 battle with leukemia and earthly life ended.
Between styles, not really thrilled about the easiest solution to pull it all up or back, because then my gray roots against dark hair just screamed 'look at me'...a whisper within suggested I just shave it off and begin again. 'Hmfff, Not gonna do that' I dismissed. Then God 'showed up' four different times Monday to call me deeper into this 'letting go' walk with Him. I've been seeking/trusting God with nearly every move/choice/decision I've made since Jonnae's "Heavenly Birth" 5 yrs ago. I hear Him asking me to TRUST Him now, with this also. When I met a mother yesterday whose let go of 2 children, both to drug addiction overdose, we were discussing the differences between the world's report and God's...WR - Jonnae lost her cancer battle.. Heaven's report - She crossed the finish line a victor. WR - I've lost my daughter. God's report - the physical body has an ending, the spirit does not. Your loved one is with you still'. WR - If you allow your hair to stay gray, you are letting go of your beauty; not caring or taking care of your appearance any longer. God's report, true beauty comes from within. WR - aging gracefully entails clinging to a youthful appearance, dying hair, plastic surgery, botox. God's report- aging gracefully is embracing you as you are becoming beautiful in a different way.
As I shared these thoughts with this woman I've just met, the next thing I said as I held up my thumb and forefinger only an inch apart from each other was 'I'm this close.." Marlyce cut me off and said "DO IT Honey!" With a puzzled face, I said "You don't even know what I'm about to say." I continued with "I'm this close to deciding to shave it off...St Baldricks is coming up in March. It's a fundraiser for childhood cancer research. People raise money to shave their heads and support the research. It's been a whisper within to 'do it'. This woman whom I've just met, who is like a modern day Job sitting before me with her own personal devastation, with enormous love and faith, then says..'Do it Honey! I'll do it with you.' WOW! Immediately I knew this was Jesus calling. I left oddly excited, somewhat anxious, nervous. I better brace myself for more offensive, non supportive remarks, I've already gotten so many just about the gray. I already knew this was a divine thing. Then I read a post on facebook from a woman who was sharing her dream about her long white locks blowing in the wind once they grew out. One of Jonnae's last dreams she was excited about, before her relapse occurred...was her baldness from chemo, being replaced with long flowing locks blowing in the wind.... Then a few hours later, after a neighbor tried to talk me out of shaving my head, Mandisa posted this on her FB page " Just overheard a little girl (around 8 years old) in a public restroom asking her mom how old you needed to be to color your hair. After the brief conversation it was revealed that the little girl was unhappy with her hair color & wanted to die it to be prettier. Dear God. Please continue to raise up good role models like my friends Britt Nicole, Jamie Grace, and Moriah Peters to teach little girls that their beauty, worth, and value come from You, not outward appearance.
"Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God." 1 Peter 3:3-4 (NLT)
This just keeps pulling me in further and further. Will we take a stand to define beauty in it's truest form? Will we be a voice for a different possibility? Can we put our emphasis on something more than appearance? I'm responding with a YES! I'm letting go and letting God once again. Spiritual seatbelt in place. This ride is getting ready to be a bit more wild and wonderful! :D
I'm letting go of the hair and having my head shaved to stand in solidarity with kids fighting cancer and raise money to find cures.
Please support me with a donation to the St. Baldrick's Foundation. This volunteer-driven charity funds more in childhood cancer research grants than any organization except the U.S. government.
Your gift will give hope to infants, children, teens and young adults fighting childhood cancers. So when I ask for your support, I'm really asking you to support these kids. Thank you!
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